Dress Code

 

Photo by Elin Tabitha on Unsplash

 

I wasn’t expecting entertainment with my burger, but an argument at the next table left me with a sense of hope for American humanity that the hamburgers do not provide. A couple began a conversation in which the man offered a scathing comment on women’s rights in Saudi Arabia and on the requirement in Afghanistan that women wear the mobile tent known as the burqa.

“Forget the Burqa, Chris. To hell with women’s rights in Saudi Arabia and Iran.” The woman said. “The way you think of women rights here in your own country is a difference only of degree. You are little different than some insane imam in some backwater fundamentalist country. We send our military to Afghanistan to fight against Islamic Terrorism and the Islamic need to force their beliefs on others, while we Christians do the same thing in our own country.”

“Debra, I can give you a dozen reasons just off the top of my head for keeping our military in those so-called ‘backwaters,” Chris said. “January sixth was a wake-up call. We can fight terrorism on their turf, or on ours. I prefer to see them on the defensive. We must give the women of Islam the rights due any human.”

Debra was an attractive blond that commanded my attention when I entered the restaurant. She, and Chris were dressed in business attire, and what man doesn’t love a woman in a pencil skirt?

“We, and they, use any opportunity- all opportunities- to keep women subservient, docile, and submissive,” Debra said. “There is a pill called Plan B that takes care of unwanted pregnancy. Do you know what the major objections to the pill in this country were before its FDA approval?”

“It’s abortion and it’s pro-choice, both currently out of favor among the misogynist element, which seems to mean a LOT of our politicians.”

“That, too, but I was thinking in terms of the pill’s history. Before it was approved by the Food and Drug Administration, the largest body of complaints received by the FDA was that the availability of the drug would promote promiscuity. The self-righteous are not concerned about the health and welfare of women who use the pill, of its side effects, or even of moral issues surrounding abortion and pregnancy prevention. No, the freaks are concerned about behavior. A woman who can make decisions about pregnancy without a man is out of the man’s control, and that cannot be tolerated in this culture.”

“You’re out of touch,” Chris answered. “We’re trying to advance women’s rights, not deny them.”

“If this were a culture promoting women’s rights, the term ‘glass ceiling’ would be a quaint, archaic idea that passed through the culture for a week and was then forgotten. That phrase was coined in 1978 and it is still relevant almost half-a century later. Your alleged desire to advance women’s rights seems to be a tedious process. For all the lip service you pay, you are nevertheless threatened by assertive and independent women. All the holier-than-thou religious jargon you wrap around the abortion issue is nothing more than your constant reminder to women that if you can’t control your women, your society and your laws can. It always comes back to control.”

Debra glared at her partner, who sat in apparent stunned silence. “Let’s get out of here,” she said. She picked up her purse, laid some currency on the table, and walked out. Chris followed her.

I enjoyed a brief fantasy involving Debra in that form-fitting skirt: together, we fought for bodily autonomy and destroyed the glass ceiling. She was my romantic partner and my crusading associate. I imagined our sex life and our shared experiences. I pictured her in jeans, shorts, and negligee. I saw us dining at our intimate, candle-lit table.

And the fantasy crashed. With my luck, she can’t cook.

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